Silly Quotes to Make Your Dad Smile on Father’s Day
Dad humor has long been a favorite in popular culture, and nothing is better than sharing a joke with dad on Father’s Day. Archetypally, fathers in our culture have been cast as the “distant parent,” who gets easily annoyed much to the delight of his children, or as the “bumbling parent,” who doesn’t quite know how to manage the “simplest” of things like changing a diaper or getting a meal on the table. While neither one of these things may be true for those fathers in your life (your father instead may be the “fun parent,” the one kids count on to make a boring afternoon one of play), “dad humor” still has a way of tickling the funny bone and bringing a smile to everyone’s face.
Here are some funny quotes to tuck into a card or include in a toast to make your dad smile on Father’s Day.
“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.”
—Mark Twain, Writer
“There should be a children’s song: ‘If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep.”
—Jim Gaffigan, Comedian
“There are times when parenthood seems nothing more than feeding the hand that bites you.”
—Peter De Vries, Writer
“I want my son to wear a helmet 24 hours a day. If it was socially acceptable I’d be the first to have my kid in a full helmet and like a cage across his face mask.”
—Will Arnett, Comedic Actor
“Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.”
—Jon Stewart, Comedian
“A man knows he is growing old because he begins to look like his father.”
—Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Writer
“Having children is like living in a frat house—nobody sleeps, everything is broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.”
—Ray Romano, Comedian
“Children are a great comfort in your old age. And they help you reach it faster too.”
—Lionel Kauffman, Writer
“My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.”
—Jeff Foxworthy, Comedian
“The only Father’s Day tradition in my family is the annual conversation he and I have where I say, ‘Hey, Dad, what do you want for Father’s Day this year?’ and he says, ‘Nothing.’ Then I ask my mom what I should get him and she says, ‘He likes sandalwood soap, dangly jewelry, and Chanel No. 5 perfume.’”
—Michael Showalter, Comedian
While parenthood is serious business, our fathers help us to remember that we are all human and that there is really a hilarious side to parenting. To those fathers who have given us so much laughter and joy over the years, Happy Father’s Day!