Establishing a Father and Baby Bond
After the dust has settled from the commotion of childbirth and the focus has began to shift from mother to baby, adjusting to and becoming acquainted with the new family member can be physically and emotionally challenging for mom and siblings, but particularly for a new father.
The father of an infant has spent nine months virtually on the sidelines, cheering on and supporting his wife while he waits for the baby to be born so he can take a more active role in care. While a father often continues to support his wife and baby in the first few trying days upon return from the hospital, he may himself be confronted with his own paternal postpartum.
Often, a new father may feel misplaced, inadequate, left out or even jealous as the new family member quickly takes over the focus of the house. A new baby often needs its mother more then anyone else, especially if the mother is breastfeeding or on maternity leave while a new father must return to work to provide for the family. This can lead to a new father feeling that he is still not as much a part of his infant’s care as he would like to be.
When dad is encouraged to actively participate in feedings, diaper changing and all the other newborn demands, he will be able to significantly improve the vital experience of bonding with his new baby.
Understanding Paternal Bonding
Bonding is defined by the Encarta Dictionary as: The formation of a close emotional tie between people. Thesaurus defines a bond as: A link that binds people together in a relationship. As a new mother, bonding occurs by holding, touching, nursing, feeding and talking to your new baby. Likewise, a new father will bond with his newborn using the same methods. Although paternal bonding may require an organized effort if the mother is the primary caregiver after birth, it can be as simple as helping with tasks that are required for infant care.
Feeding Time
Whether you are bottle or breastfeeding, feeding time is rich with opportunities for a father to bond with his baby. During feeding time, eye contact distance is superbly designed by nature to stimulate bonding – why not include dad?
If a mother is breastfeeding, the sound of the father’s voice nearby may help your newborn to associate feeding with unity. If you are bottle-feeding, this opportunity is like no other for dad to bond with his new infant! Of course, burping is another active way to allow dad to engage in the bonding process, regardless of whether the baby is breast or bottle-fed.
Diaper Changing
The touching and holding associated with diaper change and bath time is a significant way for a new father to bond with the baby. If it is dad’s first child, he may be a little clumsy at first while handling his delicate infant. However, the warmth and comfort of a bath is familiar to baby and is an opportunity for dad to add to this experience. As a new father invests more time in his fatherly child care tasks, bonding will strengthen and he will gain confidence as he is chatting and cuddling with his newborn.